According to the Canadian Journal Of Human Sexuality and the sexperts at g boutique, the real key to great sex is emotional connection, communication and focus. That’s right, the better you know each other, the better it can be. However, the better you know each other the more complacent you can get too. How do you take that awesome connection you have and keep it new and fresh? Try some fantasizing. That’s right…let go of your responsible adult being and play like kids. A fantasy is something that you spend time thinking about while having sex or masturbating. It doesn’t actually need to be present, it is something you think about. A fetish is something that needs to be present to stimulate sexual arousal and orgasm.
Sex on a giant tongue, flying through the air looking over you and your lover making love, another woman, another man…Do you fantasize during sex? Your fantasy can be your secret or you can choose to share it. Up to you. As long as it doesn’t impede your ability to have satisfying sex with your partner, a healthy fantasy life can spark our creativity and arousal. We can learn to see each other in new and exciting ways.
Have you tried sharing a fantasy or making up a new fantasy with your lover? A few suggestions:
1) Meeting a Stranger- Arrange to meet in a public place, a restaurant, bar, bookstore… One partner arrives first and notices the other one upon their arrival. Sit seperately at first and pretend like you are meeting for the first time. Begin to connect. Be visible, let people see. Then go home together and make love like it’s the first time again.
2) The Repairman- Your partner rings the doorbell with the intention of repairing something in the house. You answer in a sexy neglige but that’s not all. Continue the game and let him rummage through some tools as you walk by and brush his side or bend over and offer to help. The heat of passion takes over and you wind up making love wherever you are.
3) Cops & Robbers- Get some play cuffs and commit a crime of passion. Bondage tape and a blindfold help this one out.
4) Make love in the rain…in the car…in a corn field…an elevator…just about anywhere new.
We challenge you to play out a fantasy this month. Free your mind, daydream, take a deep breath and get into it. Let us know how it changes your sex life. And don’t forget the lube.