Yes, I broke my toe. I tripped over all the stuff on my son's floor that I've been asking him to clean up for the last 2 weeks. I was determined not to do it for him. His room, he cleans it. Well now I have a broken toe! Most people's first reaction is "Did he feel badly? Did he clean up?" Yes to both. His room is clean now and, for 2 days, there wasn't anything on the floor. I did notice some dirty towels today.
Honestly, that was my first reaction too. I was not happy. However, having had 48 hours to sit with my leg in the air and ice on my foot I realized 3 things:
1) My son is busy from 9AM to 10PM almost everyday this summer. I am his support system and I am "on it". Meals, laundry, driving... Why didn't I just pick up the stuff? When he has free time he helps me. As a family we need to act in service to each other. I do these things from a place of love...most of the time.
2) I needed to slow down. I am sure that I hurt myself because I was rushing into his room to do something so that we could leave for the next event. The result...his dad had to drive to 4 water polo games, a civil war reenactment and a family BBQ. I sat with ice on my foot and caught up on some reading and some work.
3) After everyone got over the shock of mom being out of commission, I got the help I needed. Dad drove, cooked and refilled my ice bag. Yesterday my son was a huge help with the gardening, carried everything for me and baked cookies.
Why am I telling you this story? Because sometimes we need a strong action to shake up our world. Now I don't wish any of you a broken anything, but I do wish you the opportunity to stop and rest, to ask for help, to think about your gift of service to your community, to be able to feel the love and support around you.
As women we frequently wind up being the caretakers to the world. That's ok as long as you have a secure base and know that when you need it, you've got that care coming back at you. This is what makes a relationship loving and lasting. Yin-Yang, give-take...whatever it is, I hope you have some in your life and if you don't, I would love to help you get there.
Right now I'm going to my son's room to pick up dirty towels!